The upside of anger is its ability to mobilize you into action–to change, remove and protect yourself. Your anger may lead you to addressing a problem rather than avoiding it, leaving an abusive relationship, finding a new job, moving from a bad living situation, setting stronger limits with others and taking care of yourself better.
The downside of anger is that it is easy for anger to take over. You can lose control. When anger runs the show it is easy to alienate others and make poor choices. You may say things you regret, act out in malicious ways or seek revenge. If you don’t have a handle on your anger, it can destroy relationships, create financial and legal problems, and wreak havoc on your physical, emotional and psychological well-being.
So what are you really angry about? Here’s some “real” reasons why you get angry.
- You’re scared
- You’re hurt
- You feel disrespected
- You feel unappreciated
- You didn’t get what you want
- You can’t get what you need
- You feel victimized and violated
- Acknowledge your feelings
- Test reality
- Take a look at the situation from all possible perspectives
- Own what is yours
- Confront what is not
- Seek mutual understanding
- Find forgiveness
- Take action that moves you and your life forward in a positive direction.
Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Learning to manage your anger is a lifelong process. We never attain perfection. So give yourself and others a break when anger runs amuck. Clean up the mess and resolve to do better next time.
If you or someone you know is struggling with managing anger, please reach out and contact me. I’m here to help. Sometimes it only takes a session or two for powerful shifts to occur. You and your loved ones deserve it. I work via Skype or telephone for those that are not in the Los Angeles area. Email or call at 310-379-5855 to schedule your session today.