Love and Relationship Q&A with Julie Orlov – How Do I Handle Co-Parenting with My Ex? Relationship Help is on the way! Learn how to handle differences in parenting with your ex and what to do when your ex puts you down in front of the kids. Watch as I explain how to deal with these issues as you co-parent your children after divorce.
Now that summer is over and the kids are back in school, parenting is once again, front and center. Parenting is tough enough for two parents to negotiate within an intact marriage, but if you’re divorced and working with an “uncooperative” ex-spouse on parenting issues, the challenges can be enormous.
Today’s question addresses how to deal with differences in parenting as well as what to do when an ex puts down and sabotages your parenting efforts and authority. This is common in families with two separate households. However, conflicts about parenting issues are one of the main issues over which married couples argue. So regardless of your status, this video will shed some light.
For those of you that prefer to read, here’s a summary of what you can do if you are dealing with a similar situation.
It is common for divorced parents to have different household rules and approaches to parenting.
- If the differences are around minor issues, such as bed times, curfew, TV and video game rules, etiquette at the dinner table, household chores, etc., then don’t sweat the differences. Kids are quite quick at adapting their behavior to the parent in charge. Let it go. I will do no harm to the kids. In fact, it will teach them to be flexible and adaptable, understanding that there are different ways to deal with life.
- Be a good role model and support the rules of the other parent’s household. Tell you kids that you and your ex have different household rules and this is okay. What’s important is for them to respect each parent’s rules while under their care.
- If you ex is criticizing you or trying to sabotage your rules, keep your boundaries clear. Let you children know that while you understand that your ex does not agree or support your parenting choices, they must. Don’t get down to your ex’s level and start putting him or her down as well. Stay on the high road and you will win the respect of your children at the end of the day.
- If you have cordial relations with your ex, then you may want to make a request that you both support and encourage your children respecting your respective household rules. Sometimes when you demonstrate respect and good will toward your ex, it is reciprocated. Sometimes not—you make the call.
- For major issues, such as drug abuse, failing grades, depression, etc., it is important to work with your ex and coordinate efforts as a unified front. This is the time to put personal differences aside and work as a team for the benefit of your child. If you have difficulty doing this on your own, then please seek the help of a qualified counselor, therapist or mediator.
If you or someone you know is struggling with parenting issues or dealing with an ex, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I am here to provide personalized counseling and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve.
As always, I’m here to support you in creating a transformational life and strong and powerful relationships.
P.S. Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz