5 Words That Will Ruin Your Marriage

Here's another article I published on YourTango a couple of months ago. It received thousands and thousands of hits and was syndicated on many other well-known sites. This article addresses what specific words to avoid during arguments and discussions as well as what specifically you can say and ask instead. This one is another must read!

Words are powerful. They can cut you, heal you, inspire you, and stop you. Learning the language of marriage takes time and due diligence. Here are 5 words that are destined to cause damage to your marriage. Say them regularly and the damage may be irreparable.

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How to Deal with Anger

As a therapist, I am always emphasizing the importance of communication. Being willing to express and hear each other's feelings is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship. However, some feelings are harder to take than others. Take anger. Anger can be hurtful and scary. It is normal to want to retreat and protect yourself from another's wrath. However, if you want a strong and intimate relationship, all feelings need to be expressed and received. You can't include the nice feelings and exclude the hard ones. It just doesn't work that way.

Some people are better at dealing with anger than others.  Some of you may have had anger directed at you in hurtful and damaging ways growing up. Others may have had little experience dealing with anger, having grown up in families that didn't express negative feelings at all. And some of you may have grown up in families where anger was an acceptable emotion that was dealt with in fairly healthy ways.  So whichever category you see yourself in, I'd like to give some helpful hints on how to hear—and I mean really hear—your partner's anger in a way that leaves you and your relationship whole as opposed to fragmented.

When your partner expresses anger, consider the following and try to implement the following process:... Click Read in Browser to read full article

Love and Relationship Q&A w’ Julie Orlov “My Wife is Always Suspicious and I’ve Never Been Unfaithful!”

Watch this Q&A session with Julie Orlov and learn what to do when the person you love always thinks you are cheating when you are not. Trust is complicated. Some people can find ways to convince themselves that their partner is cheating. Learn why this occurs and what you can do about.

This is fairly common in relationships at one stage or another. One partner can become concerned or even paranoid that the other is having an affair. It can be frustrating and difficult to contend with this when you are the partner being accused and are absolutely being 100% faithful. This lack of trust and constant vigilance over your partner’s behavior can lead to the destruction of the relationship.

Get a handle on this now before it destroys what you have. Watch the video at http://youtu.be/wFsMJ-Sec-U

And for those of you that prefer to read, here’s a summary of what you need to know.Just click on Read in Browser to access full article and video blog

Relationship Help! My Wife is Always Angry with Me!

Watch as Julie Orlov explains what is happening in your marriage when a spouse is always angry and you feel like you can never do anything right. Learn what to do to save your marriage and create a more healthy and loving way of dealing with marital and relationship issues.

Everyone knows what it’s like to be in a no-win situation. You feel like whatever you do it will never be enough to please the person you love (or anyone for that matter). You feel like you live in the “dog house” and don’t know why. You only know that it’s getting cold and lonely out there and you’d like to come back in.

All kidding aside, feeling like you are constantly on the receiving end of someone’s wrath gets old. It starts to wear down the trust and love within a relationship. On the other hand, if you or your significant other are experiencing constant frustration, then there is something to look at and understand. People can be angry and frustrated over a long period of time for a variety of reasons.

Click here to view my Q&A video that addresses the reasons why this dynamic occurs in relationships and what to do about it.

For those of you that prefer to read, click "Read in Browser" to read the full article.

What to do When You Hurt the One You Love

You know you f#@%ed up. You said something horrible to your mate or betrayed your mate in some way. You get it. You have acknowledged your wrongdoing and have apologized. You believe forgiveness is warranted and are ready to move on.

Your mate, however, is not ready to move on. She is still angry, hurt, and wounded. Trust has been broken and she is not ready to forgive. She is still hurting and still needs to make you understand just how hurtful your actions were. She’s still trying to understand why you would say or do what you did. She is still bleeding, emotionally that is…

You feel you’ve been punished enough. You don’t want this mistake to haunt you for the next two months or years for that matter. You’ve had enough and are ready to move on. You resent this continuous admonishment and want her to stop. You shut her down, saying “no more—I’ve apologized and that’s all I can do.”  Or is it?

Every couple will experience a situation like this from time to time. So what lessons can we learn from the scenario above. How can you move through a crisis in a way that promotes healing? How can you move through your crisis without causing more upset and delaying the healing process?

Here are 8 things you can do to to help you and your partner move past crisis toward healing and intimacy.

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Love and Relationship Q&A Video with Julie Orlov – “Why is my husband so critical of me?”

Get relationship help! Watch as Julie Orlov answers your questions on love and relationships. Today's questions addresses why your spouse is overly critical of you and what you can do about it. Just click on the read more in browser and it will take you there!

Get your questions answered by sending them in today at Julie@julieorlov.com  or leave it on this blog's comment section. Your questions will be answered this Friday, March 22nd LIVE on “Pathways to Love w’ Julie Orlov” at 2:30pm PST on www.latalklive.com/new/pathways-to-love .  Or call in with your questions and comments during the show at 323-473-3100! Can’t catch it live? No worries—you can always watch the recorded show anytime at www.latalklive.com/new/pathways-to-love!

You can also view this video along with all my other videos on my Youtube channel at http://youtu.be/J30SMZbSFLI

Love and Relationship Advice – Julie Orlov Q&A – Help, I’m involved with a married woman!

Relationship Help! Watch as Julie Orlov answers your questions on love and relationships. Today's question addresses reasons why someone may get involved with a married person, why married people have affairs and what you can do about getting caught up in an affair. Watch at http://youtu.be/5yaxH6PQ7gY

Don’t forget to join me for my LIVE Create Your Pathway to Love Workshop on February 23, 9am-1pm in Hermosa Beach, California. For more information and to register, go to www.yourpathwaytolove.eventbrite.com.

Love and Relationship Q&A – Julie Orlov – “Why do we argue about the same issue over and over again?”

Relationship Help! Watch and listen as Julie Orlov answers your questions on Love and Relationships. Today’s question is “Why do we argue about the same issue over and over again?” It is very common for couples to revisit issues. Unresolved issues lead to frustration, disconnect, and resignation. Find out why this is happening and what you can do to resolve your issues once and for all! Watch at http://youtu.be/YBb5N2nXTtU

Love and Relationship Q&A Julie Orlov – “My Wife Can’t Keep a Job!”

Relationship Help! Get marital and relationship advice on how to deal with a spouse who doesn't keep her word in securing and maintaining employment. Watch as Julie Orlov answers your questions on couples in trouble. In today’s economy, it is not uncommon for couples to fight about money and employment. People are having more difficulty securing and maintaining employment and this results in a lot of fear, anxiety, and conflict. Learn how to approach this sensitive topic and ways to resolve the issues in your relationship. http://youtu.be/060YWDhN4WQ

The Trap of Expectations

It’s hard not to have any expectations. We were raised on expectations—what others expected of us and what we expect of others. Honestly, I don’t think our brains will ever evolve to the point where we can live expectation-free. We can however, monitor and manage them. Here’s how expectations impact our relationships. We expect…