Julie, what motivated you to write The Pathway to Love? I am often asked this question. It is an important question. So I thought I’d share my thoughts with you today on this very topic.
Terrence Wing was my friend and colleague. He was a role model for leadership, integrity, kindness, generosity, and spirit. He died suddenly and was in the prime of his life. Since word spread about his untimely death last Thursday, there has been an enormous outpour of heartfelt sentiments. Terrence meant a lot to me. And it was clear he meant a lot to many. He will be missed and the world has lost one of its shining stars.
I know, it’s that time of year again. Thanksgiving is right in front of us and that means Hanukkah, Kwanza, Christmas and New Year’s is right around the corner. We each have our own version of the perfect holiday. We each have our own version of holidays gone bad. Regardless of your version, it is difficult to escape all the hype and expectations that surround this time of year. Holidays tend to exert tremendous pressure on our relationships. They magnify everything—the fact that you’re not married, married to a jerk, have no family around, have family around that you rather not see, are currently out of work, have no money to spend on gifts this year, and so on and so on. Whether you are filled with gratitude or filled with dread, the holidays will undoubtedly test your patience, tolerance, attitudes, expectations, beliefs, and most of all, your relationships. Talk about the ultimate mirror for you and your life. So how can we counteract this inherent pressure we feel around this time of year? How can we enjoy the spirit of the holidays without getting caught up with all the hype? How can we get through family gatherings without feeling any angst or depression the day after?
Relationships serve many needs. They meet our needs for companionship, connection, and partnership. They provide us help in meeting everyday responsibilities—raising children, preparing meals, running a household, and getting a lift when the car breaks down. They enable us to receive support and love in times of hardship—when we’re sick, broken hearted, or struggling with our own inner demons. And lastly, relationships give us a boost of confidence and motivation to continue to go after our dreams—so that we don’t give up on making those dreams come true, honoring our purpose and passion, taking our desire and turning them into something meaningful for ourselves and others.
Have you ever woken up feeling the blues? You know, that feeling of being unsettled, as if you, your life, or your relationships just aren’t matching up to your expectations. You feel like something is askew but you don’t know how to fix things and make them right. You wish you could figure out how to make things right but you keep ruminating on what is wrong and are at a loss on what to do about it. Well, you are not alone. Everyone suffers from this from time to time. For some reason we are most prone to this condition on Monday mornings. And while most people will identify this as the Monday morning blues, I believe that what we are really suffering from is our illusion of control.