How Do You Define RESPECT in Your Relationship?

Mutual respect is key to a successful marriage. It takes two people committed to the covenants of respect. And while every couple has the right and responsibility to define what that means to them, I'd thought I'd give you my definition (in acronym form) of RESPECT.

Respond to each other''s feelings and concerns in a thoughtful and non judging/non-defensive way.
Empathize - take the time to really understand your partner.
Self-Responsibility - for one's actions, reactions and choices; this includes saying I'm sorry and cleaning up your mess.
Protect each other and the relationship from any unnecessary harm.
Express love and gratitude in small and meaningful ways.
Communicate openly, honestly and kindly.
Touch, cuddle, kiss, hold hands, and make love often.

Feel free to use this definition or make one of your own. Remind yourself to live by these words every day. And make sure that you are both committed to this kind of relationship.

Remember, be the relationship you want!

If you are someone you know wants to create strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve.

Be well,

Julie

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

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5 Things To Do When The Rug has Been Pulled Out From Under You

You think you know your significant other. You feel secure in this relationship and believe that all is well. That is until one day, you get the rug pulled out from under you. You discover your significant other has a sexually transmitted disease, you discover your spouse is addicted to porn, you discover your partner was really married twice, not once before you met.

You feel like you've been hit in the stomach--not only because of what you've learned but also because your ability to trust has been shattered--not only the ability to trust your loved one, but your ability to trust yourself.

These kinds of upsets happen and they happen when you least expect it. Last week, I described all the reasons why people may not disclose everything about themselves to their partner. One of the reasons is they feel shame around the issue. Another reason is they know the relationship would be at risk. So when their worst fears are met and the secret is revealed, you must deal with the painful truth about who your partner is and what he or she has done.

Dealing with these kinds of surprises is complicated. There are many feelings and issues to address and work through. So while I am giving you an abbreviated version of what those things are, I encourage you to seek support if and when you find yourself on the floor with the rug pulled out.

Here are 5 things to help you get back on your feet.

5 Words That Will Ruin Your Marriage

Here's another article I published on YourTango a couple of months ago. It received thousands and thousands of hits and was syndicated on many other well-known sites. This article addresses what specific words to avoid during arguments and discussions as well as what specifically you can say and ask instead. This one is another must read!

Words are powerful. They can cut you, heal you, inspire you, and stop you. Learning the language of marriage takes time and due diligence. Here are 5 words that are destined to cause damage to your marriage. Say them regularly and the damage may be irreparable.

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The Trap of Expectations

It’s hard not to have any expectations. We were raised on expectations—what others expected of us and what we expect of others. Honestly, I don’t think our brains will ever evolve to the point where we can live expectation-free. We can however, monitor and manage them. Here’s how expectations impact our relationships. We expect…