Is the Grass Always Greener on the Other Side?

“The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” – Sound familiar? It should. This well-known phrase captures what every person in or out of a relationship thinks from time to time. If you’re currently single, you may be thinking about how much you miss having a partner—someone with whom you can share love, laughter, and life experiences. You long for someone to hold and be with—a relationship that fills those basic human needs and alleviates your moments of loneliness and emptiness.

If you’re in a committed relationship, you just may be thinking about days gone by when you did not have to answer to anyone—when you could sleep, eat, play and shop—when, where and how you pleased. You long for some alone time and the feeling of independence. You miss your freedom.

I want you to know that “missing” the other side is not only normal, but expected. There are benefits and costs to being single and coupled. There will always be a longing, an appreciation and a loss, regardless of your relationship status. It is not a matter of if you feel these things, it is how you move through these times of discontent. No one package is perfect. So here are some realties and coping strategies to help you deal with your moments of doubt. 

If you are transitioning from singlehood to couplehood, or couplehood to singlehood, here is what you have in store and how you can cope. Be prepared to deal with the following:

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What Are Your Deal Breakers?

I have worked with thousands of people over the years. And I have seen countless numbers of people tolerate issues within their relationship that they never thought they would beforehand. One of the exercises in The Pathway to Love Workbook and Guide is to identify your “deal breakers.” This is an easy task for most people. You may believe you know what you can and cannot live with and write these things down with ease. In real life, however, it can be incredibly difficult to follow-through on deal breakers. Knowing is not always doing. Instead, you may find yourself settling and living with issues and people that simply don’t work for you. You may find yourself denying, rationalizing, and pacifying the realities. People do it all the time. And this is why. Once you’ve declared a behavior or trait a deal breaker, your well-being, power, and integrity are at stake. So is your relationship. This is the pull and pressure one has to contend with once you’ve identified a deal breaker. No one likes to face the real possibility that loss is imminent. No one wants to have a broken heart. But in the end, your personal power and well-being are what counts. Ignoring deal breakers will only cause ongoing heartache and pain. So here are my suggestions on how to navigate this delicate issue as your relationship develops and becomes more real.

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A Dog’s Lessons on Relationships

There’s a lot we can learn from a dog. And if you are a dog lover or have a dog, then you know exactly what I mean. One of the best teachers I’ve had in the area of love is my dog Shlomo. I know, funny name, long story. Shlomo has taught me many things just as I suspect your dog has taught you. So today I thought I’d let Shlomo do the sharing. This is what he has to say on the subject of love and relationships or better yet, this is what I’ve learned from him.

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Listen to Julie On-the-Air with Dresser After Dark

If you missed the live broadcast of my interview on love and relationships with Michael Ray Dresser last week, you catch it here--just click on the post and find the link. Enjoy!

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7 Ways to Keep the Courtship Alive

We all know how easy and natural it is to engage in courtship when you first meet someone. You’re excited and wanting to put your best side forward. You are filled with anticipation and feel good hormones. You are enjoying the chase. In the beginning, you not only fall in love with each other but how you treat each other. However, as time goes on and partners feel secure and relaxed, it can become easy to become lackadaisical. After all, haven’t you deserved the right to now relax and rely on the fact that you both know you love each other? Is it necessary to continue the chase that courting entails? Is it really necessary to continue to play the game? In a nutshell, the answer is yes... So here are 7 ways to keep the courtship alive.

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