If you missed the live broadcast of my interview on love and relationships with Michael Ray Dresser last week, you catch it here--just click on the post and find the link. Enjoy!
I believe we’ve lost touch on the value of our relationships. People seem to spend more time and money on their hair, toys, and possessions than they do on their relationships. I’m not sure when we crossed over into the land of disconnect but it saddens me that we’ve become a society obsessed with instant gratification, magical solutions, constant stimulation, ten second attention spans, and never ending to-do lists. Our need to get more, do more, and have more, has outweighed our basic human need for connection, centeredness, and cooperation. We have lost touch with the value of connection and the art of relationship building and the time has come to wake up and get our lives back in balance. My work has been dedicated to helping others learn how to create authentic and intimate relationships. It is through our relationships that we heal, transform, and thrive. In fact, it is only within the context of our relationships that we are able to exist. My request is that you take the time to examine your relationships this week. Put time and energy toward the people you relate to on a daily or weekly basis. Be willing to invest yourself and your resources into nurturing your relationships. To assist you with this quest, I have put together Ten Commandments on Relationships. No, I didn’t get them from atop a mountain or from a burning bush. They are part of The Pathway to Love Model and they provide a context from which to begin a paradigm shift. It’s my attempt to swing the pendulum back to a position where we can heal as a community. So here it goes…
I have worked with many people over the past 25 years. Inevitably, most people simply want to get “there.” They want to arrive. They want to put the work in but in the end they want to find balance, peace, and happiness. As much as I would love to say I can take them there, in truth, I cannot. No one can. Life is about everything EXCEPT equilibrium and stability. Life is about cycles, rhythms, and a constant search for balance. Life never stands still. Your relationships will never stand still either. Today’s article is about embracing the rhythm and cycles of life. As you settle into couplehood, a few things happen.
We all know how easy and natural it is to engage in courtship when you first meet someone. You’re excited and wanting to put your best side forward. You are filled with anticipation and feel good hormones. You are enjoying the chase. In the beginning, you not only fall in love with each other but how you treat each other. However, as time goes on and partners feel secure and relaxed, it can become easy to become lackadaisical. After all, haven’t you deserved the right to now relax and rely on the fact that you both know you love each other? Is it necessary to continue the chase that courting entails? Is it really necessary to continue to play the game? In a nutshell, the answer is yes... So here are 7 ways to keep the courtship alive.
I get a lot of questions from people about forgiveness. People resist forgiveness for a variety of reasons. Some people believe that if you forgive someone for the harm they did, you will be asking for more harm down the line—in other words, forgiveness leaves you more vulnerable, not less. Other people believe that if you forgive someone, you will be giving them a free pass or condoning what they did—these people hold out, seeking punishment and vengeance. And some people simply don’t know how to forgive—it sounds simple in theory but difficult to execute with intention. So I thought I’d write this week’s blog in honor of forgiveness.