There are more single boomers than ever. And there are more dating sites and services that cater specifically toward the 50 plus single. Dating after 50 is a great time to experience love and companionship. Most people over 50 have experienced enough life to appreciate and embrace a healthy, intimate relationship. Children are typically grown and out of the house and couples can enjoy a new found freedom.
Despite these liberating circumstances, many boomers approach dating with doubt and resignation. They believe the hype that the older you get, the more difficult it is to find a new mate. Women in particular, buy into the myth that they have a greater chance of getting run over by a bus than meeting a great man and getting married. To make matters worse, people sometimes see themselves and others as damaged goods, having survived one, if not more, divorces that have left them disillusioned. Some people have even given up—declaring that their time for love and romance is over. They believe that people, including themselves, have become jaded and simply worn out, having little to no energy for romance. And for those individuals that find themselves single after many years of couplehood, figuring out how to go about dating can be an overwhelming task.
If you fall into any one of these categories, don’t dismay. Reconsider your assumptions. You are in the prime of your life and have incredible opportunities to create fun and romance. Love after 50 is often the best love of your life. You now have what it takes to create your best relationship.
To help assuage your worries, here are my top 5 myth busters to help boost your confidence as you enter the world of dating after 50.
Myth: Sexual drive and satisfaction goes down with age. Truth: People over 50 have the best sex of their lives. You know yourself and your body well. You have many years of experience in this area; there are no more worries about getting pregnant and you know how to give and receive pleasure with ease.
Myth: People are too rigid and set in their ways after 50. Truth: People over 50 are more mature and understand the importance of compromise. The need for control dissipates as people understand that they have little control over most things anyways. You are better able to let the small things go. People over 50 become less rigid, not more, as they understand how life truly works.
Myth: People over 50 rather date people under 40. Truth: Most mature individuals want to be with others to whom they can relate—from an intellectual, emotional, and historical context. Don’t underestimate the value of life experience and wisdom. While a younger and firmer body may sound appealing in the short run, in the long run, the quality of companionship and commitment far outweighs any attempt to regain your youth. Most emotionally mature people get this. You don’t want to be with anyone who doesn’t.
Myth: People over 50 no longer need romance. Truth: Everyone can benefit from a shot of feel-good dopamine that is released while falling in love. Connecting with the young girl or boy within helps maintain a youthful and adventurous life. You never know when love will come your way. Be open to the possibility. Romance will boost your health, vitality, and overall well-being.
Myth: There are no good men or women out there over 50. Truth: There are many great women and men out there. People find themselves single again for many reasons, many of which reflect nothing ominous about the individual or his or her past. Focus less on negative expectations on more on being the great person you would like to meet. Go out and have fun!
If you’re single and over 50, I encourage you to start dating and enjoy meeting new people. Take the time to seek out new experiences. Life is too short. Don’t let any negative experiences in the past prevent you from having the greatest relationship yet. The best is yet to come.
If you are having trouble trusting in love again after experiencing past hurts or it has been so long that you can’t remember the last time you dated or fell in love, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m here to help. It is never too late to find a wonderful partner with whom to share your life. I’m here to support you in creating strong and powerful relationships.
Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery
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