I recently posted a Q&A Video I did for YourTango.com on my YouTube Channel that deals with the issue of loneliness. In this video, a woman wrote in asking how to deal with feeling alone. In her case, she had gone through a breakup and was happily settled into singlehood but still had moments of loneliness. As I watched the video last week, it reminded me that feeling lonely is not exclusive to “single” people. People in relationships feel lonely as well. So I thought I’d highlight the critical points I made in the video for this week's blog post and Relationship Tip. And as a bonus, I’m embedding the YouTube Video as well for your viewing. Enjoy the Video.
Here are the highlights of my video response.
Having moments of feeling alone is part of the human condition. Everyone feels alone every now and then, whether you are in a romantic intimate relationship or not. No one can ever fill that emptiness that we all have inside. It’s as much a part of us as our kidneys and lungs. Rather than repel from our loneliness, here are some things you can do to help move through those lonely times with more ease.
- Make sure you connect and appreciate all the people you love and who love you back. A romantic partner is NOT the only way to experience love and connection with another. Reaching out and expressing your love to others helps remind your lonely self that at the end of the day, everything will be okay. You are not alone on this planet and there will always be others to help you along the way.
- Take the time to nurture yourself. Do things you enjoy and that bring you pleasure. Get connected to that part of yourself that is content and at peace with you and you alone. If you’re not sure how to do this, take the time to try out different things and get more acquainted and comfortable with time spent alone.
- Be with what is. The ability to be present and accept one moment at a time is incredibly powerful. Feelings of loneliness come and go—just like all the other feelings we experience throughout our lives. Remember to breath. Remember to laugh. Remember that “This moment too, shall pass.” When you embrace what is, you just might find the gift in each and every moment, even the more painful ones.
It’s okay to feel lonely or empty from time to time. It doesn’t mean anything’s wrong. Celebrate your life as is. Know that circumstances are always changing. Find ways to connect with yourself and others. We need each other. We are hard wired for connection. But remember, there are many ways to meet those needs. Go out and make a difference for someone else. That is the most powerful way to connect. Give your love and kindness to others. That is always a quick fix for the lonely blues.
Remember, I am a resource for support and guidance. Don’t hesitate to reach out.
Please share your story with us. How have you dealt with moments of loneliness? What are your thoughts on this topic? Join in the conversation and contribute to our community!
Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery
Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com