What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

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You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Sunday
Jan172016

Avoid These 6 Signs of Desperation in 2016

I published this article a year ago and thought it would be a good reminder for all of you who have made New Year resolutions on finding and making new love work. I have found that people who want something so desperately can find themselves acting in desperate ways. And desperation is the quickest way to lose your personal power and integrity. So in the spirit of having a powerful and successful year, read on.

Nothing turns people off more than desperation and neediness. And if you are getting serious about finding love in 2016, you will want to stay away from people who need you to make themselves whole, fixed, or stable. And you certainly don't want to be a desperate dater yourself.

Whether you are a seasoned dater or just staring out after a hiatus, here are 6 signs of dating desperation.

1. You leave a message or send a text to your new love interest but can't wait comfortably for the person to call or text you back. You obsessively look for their reply or worse, you text or call again within 24 - 48 hours.

2. You turn down invitations from friends and family because you want to leave yourself open "just in case" he or she calls you and wants to get together.

3. You say yes to everything your new love interest suggests and allow the relationship to be on his or her terms for fear of rejection.

4. You rationalize, tolerate or ignore bad dating behavior. These include breaking dates at the last minute, arriving very late without calling, changing plans on you without asking, and other disrespectful behaviors. If you're not sure what behaviors constitute disrespect, you are probably tolerating too many of them.

5. You're focused on if your date likes you or not, or if your date will want to see you again. You are NOT focused on if you like your date or not, if you want to go out with him or her again, or if this person treats you with the respect you deserve.

6. Even when this person tells you they are not interested in a relationship, dating you exclusively, or dating you at all, you ignore this and pursue him or her even more, convinced that this person is the one for you.

If you recognize yourself or someone you care about, I strongly encourage you to get help. You may be suffering from temporary insanity--a paralysis of power--often stemming from some kind a crazy response that this individual elicits. Or you are suffering from chronic anxiety and low self-worth. Either way, help is available. Feel free to call 310-379-5855 or write and schedule an appointment. There is a way for you to reclaim your power, confidence and self-respect.  And if that's not enough, you will certainly have better dating experiences and relationship results.

Here's to a successful year of love!

Julie

P.S. If you or someone you know wants to create strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life, don’t hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

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Sunday
Nov222015

I had writer’s block last week….

I sat down to write my blog on Sunday (two Sunday’s ago) and found myself having nothing to say. It was two days after the terrorist attacks in Paris and writing something profound about dating seemed trivial. So after twenty minutes of staring at the computer screen, I decided to call it a day and let last Monday’s blog go unwritten.

As I sit down for another attempt, I again have no inspiration to write about dating. I am still feeling saddened about the state of our global community. So I am going to write down my wandering thoughts and appreciate your patience with my doing so.

Based on current world affairs, I believe we are no better off than we were a century or millennium ago. What progress have we made? How do we deal with toxic people who contaminate our communities? What do you do with those members of your family that poison the waters? How do we deal with the inevitable cancers that infiltrate our societies?

Throughout the ages, we have utilized many strategies to deal with such cancers. We annihilate them. We love them in hopes that they will heal. We threaten them in order to deter their behaviors and mitigate their impact. We punish them for bad behaviors. We negotiate in good faith. We collude in their need for control and power. We deny they exist. We try to escape and avoid them.  We feel victim to their threats and actions. We ignore them. We accept them. We join them. We are them.

Look inside yourself and see the parts of you that are cancerous.

Have you ever blamed another person or group for your problems? Have you felt hate in your heart? Have you ever made choices based on fear? Have you attempted to gain control or power at the expense of someone else? Have you lashed out in anger? Have you ever become physically violent? Have you wished someone dead? Have you ever been influenced to do something destructive by a group who gives you the promise of something great? Do you have blind faith in your version of what is so? Has that faith influenced how you act toward others?

If you’re honest and forthcoming, you will have answered yes to one, if not many, of the questions above. We all have a form of cancer within. Just as your white cells are constantly scanning and eliminating cancer cells that float within your body, your consciousness must do the same for your mind.

Your consciousness is looking for and asking the following:

What are your core beliefs based on?

How do you handle fear and hopelessness?

Where is your locus of control and power?

How do you access love in your heart?

How do you control your impulses and act from a place of integrity and personal power?

What do you really want to create?

Where does your pain live and how can you heal?

I don’t have any answers. Cancers are a part of life. I don’t see that changing. I see us continuing to struggle between creating growth and renewal and creating death and destruction. I accept that fact that I will be saddened by horrific acts of destruction from time to time. And I know that my heart will be consistently renewed by actions of generosity and love. 

With thoughts and prayers to all those affected by the cancers,

Julie

P.S. If you or someone you know would like to create strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life, please contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized counseling and coaching. Take advantage of the opportunity to receive the support and guidance you deserve. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today.

About me: www.julieorlov.com/about

About The Pathway to Love at-home program: www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love

About your relationship: Get your Free Relationship Assessment Quiz at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

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