What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Blog Index
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Sunday
Aug022015

Maybe You’re Just Not Ready

You keep telling yourself that you really want to find that special someone. You’re frustrated that while you seem to meet lots of potential mates, none of these potential connections result in anything more than an interesting evening or a wild weekend. You may be baffled as to why you can’t even get a date and look with confusion at all the people out there that seem to be dating every night. You look with envy as you watch those who are clearly in love and connected and fear that you will grow old alone.

You say to yourself “What is wrong with me!”

Well, I’m here to tell you there’s nothing wrong with you. You simply may not be ready.

Just like waiting for the day you start that diet that works, beginning an exercise regimen that sticks, or applying to that new job that you get, there are many false starts that have most likely occurred along the way. Think about all the times you’ve thought long and hard about wanting something in your life before it actually emerged. Consider all the subconscious thoughts that may be sabotaging your efforts. Understand all the things that are completely out of your control and how frustrating it can be to surrender to that reality.

The bottom line? You simply may not be ready. Your timing may not be now.

So instead of making yourself wrong—or resigning yourself to a lifetime of loneliness—just relax.  Your time will come. Enjoy your life as is. Be open to creating new adventures and making every new encounter count. And know that when you are ready, your mate will suddenly appear.

There’s no secret formula, no scientific calculation, no magic spell. One day, you will be in the right place at the right time. You can’t make it happen. You have to allow it to happen. So relax and let your life unfold.

Be well,

Julie 

P.S. If you would like more information on how to navigate through the four phases of a developing relationship, visit. www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love.  If you’d like more information on how to work with me, please contact me directly at julie@julieorlov.com or call 310-379-5855310-379-5855.

Get the support you deserve.

As always, I'm here to support you in creating strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life!

About me: www.julieorlov.com/about

About The Pathway to Love at-home program: www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love

About your relationship: Get your Free Relationship Assessment Quiz at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

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Friday
Jun192015

Even Smart Women Get Fooled

I receive a lot of emails from women who feel embarrassed and foolish. They describe situations where they have been seduced and charmed by men only to be hurt, betrayed and dumped weeks or months later.

These women all share the same story. They describe themselves as smart and savvy. They say that while they want a healthy intimate relationship they are not desperate. They describe their experiences pretty much the same way. It goes like this...

I met this great guy. He swept me off me feet. He was so charming and made me feel wanted and loved. He came on fast but demonstrated that he was all in--his actions matched his words. We had many talks about what we wanted from a relationship. He told me he wanted marriage and could definitely see a future with me.  

I was cautious at first. I wanted to make sure that he was the real deal. I kept clear boundaries. He needed to pursue me and I needed to make sure I was treated with respect. Eventually I fell in love and was all in. I began to make him a priority, probably at the expense of my own needs and other responsibilities (e.g., I gave up time with my kids, I left work early, I accommodated his schedule and needs).  Eventually, I found myself making excuses for little behaviors that felt "off."  I rationalized his actions that no longer matched his words and worked hard to get my "great" guy back.

One day, it all came out. I found out he was ________(fill in the blank: married, seeing other women, didn't have a job, was in bankruptcy--you name it--a situational atrocity that caught me blindsided).  Or one day, he simply said he was moving on. Or worse, one day he just disappeared, never returning my calls or texts. He just dumped me without a single thought.

I was crushed. I lost all confidence in myself and my judgment. I was a fool for love and I can't believe I let this man get the best of me. What is wrong with me?! Why didn't I see this coming?!


If you can relate to some or all of this story, here's what I want you to know...

1. Even smart women get fooled. There are men (and women) who are expert manipulators. They have been doing this for years and know exactly how to hook and reel people in. Give yourself a break.

2. You will learn from this experience and will not easily be fooled again. Next time you find yourself being swept off your feet, get your balance and proceed with caution. Smart women can get fooled once, maybe twice but never more than that. So don't worry, you will learn from your experiences and take better care of yourself next time.

3. Find out what made you vulnerable to his advances. What is your Achilles heel? In what way are you most vulnerable? Knowing this is how you inoculate yourself from future harm.

4. Master the four phases of a developing relationship. Understanding what each phase entails and how to navigate through them effectively will enable you to build strong and intimate relationships--ones based on mutual understanding, respect, acceptance and love.

5. Be kind to yourself. Everyone has been blindsided and fooled by someone who had his/her own interest at heart, not yours. We run into them all the time. If you get caught in the one of their traps, simply get out, shake it off and move on. There are plenty of great people out there with integrity and a kind heart.

If you'd like more information on the four phases of a developing relationship and want to order The Pathway to Love at-home program today, click here. You and your relationships deserve it!

And if you'd like to schedule a one-on-one session with me so you can understand what is working well, identify what is getting in your way and learn how to create the relationship you want, call me today at 310-379-5855. I'm here to help!

Be well,
Julie

 

About me: www.julieorlov.com/about

About The Pathway to Love at-home program: www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love

About your relationship: Get your Free Relationship Assessment Quiz at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Click to read more ...