For those of you that believe there are no good men out there, I have good news and bad news.
The bad news is as long as you believe men are not interested in commitment, intimacy, women their age, or responsibility, you will probably continue to find men that meet your expectations. Yes, there are men that fit those categories but there are many more men that don't. I have found that men rise to the standards of the women they meet and want. So if you are frustrated in the quality of men you are meeting, ask yourself the following questions. And by the way, these same questions apply to men who are looking for quality women.
1. Where are you meeting men? Find activities, friends and communities where you are more likely to meet men that want what you want. Don't hang out at your local bars or on-line dating sites if you are frustrated in the quality of men there.
2. Are you saying "no thank you" to men that lack interest, respect or qualities that you desire? Stop waiting for a man to suddenly become what you need. If he isn't courting you or treating you accordingly, move on. Saying no to what you don't want is just as important to saying yes to what you do. Sometimes you really do need to kiss a lot of frogs before finding the one. The trick is to stop spending unnecessary time hanging out with the frogs. Once you know he is a frog, let him go.
3. Are you too attached to being right? If you believe there are no good men out there, then that may be what you see, no matter what. Start recognizing the good ones out there (whether they are single or not) and begin to create a new belief system. There are many wonderful men in the world. And there is no reason why you can't meet one of them.
Which brings me to my last question...
4. Have you looked in the mirror? I hate to be blunt, but just maybe the problem lies with you. Take a good look at yourself. Get an outside professional perspective. You may have issues that are getting in your way. It simply may not be "them."
There are countless stories of people of all ages who have met wonderful mates and have begun wonderful relationships. Don't buy into the myth that all the good ones are gone. And don't buy into the myth that men only want.... fill in the blank. Start believing and acting on the belief that there are wonderful men who would feel lucky to meet a wonderful woman like yourself!
If you or someone you know needs help in finding love, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve.
Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery
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