Let’s face it—most people are feeling the effects of the economy. It might be as simple as your dollars don’t stretch as far as they did before or as severe as you or your spouse has been out of work for over a year. You might be arguing with your spouse over small purchases, or impulsively making big, unnecessary purchases to help alleviate your stress. You might be struggling with downsizing your lifestyle or feel embarrassed to let others know how much you’re financially stressed. There are real problems and challenges out there and if your marriage or relationship is affected by money or the lack thereof, then this article is for you. Here are 6 coping strategies to help alleviate the strain on your relationship.
A woman I’ll call Louise, wrote in with the following question: “Dear Julie, my husband is a high-functioning alcoholic and while he provides for us, I’ve lost faith that he’s going to quit. I don’t want to spend my life married to a drunk. When is it ok to leave?” If I were sitting down with Louise, this is what I would say to her. For those that want the shortened version, enjoy the video below.
There are many reasons why relationships fail. Some people will tell you their relationship failed due to infidelity, addiction, lack of attention, abusive behaviors, or severe money problems. And while these are all legitimate reasons for a relationship to fail, I propose that these reasons are just symptoms of the real reason why relationships fail. From my perspective, failed relationships have one thing in common. Relationships fail due to a difference in the desire and ability to create true intimacy. I believe that this is at the foundation of most, if not all, breakups.
I was innocently making a request to my significant other last week and used a word that set off quite a reaction in him. It reminded me that we are always walking in a land mine without knowing it. We go about our day communicating without much thought. We tell people what to do, what we need, and how we feel. We ask questions, make requests, and set limits. And we do this with words. For most of us, our word selection is based on our ongoing developing vocabulary, words and phrases we’ve grown up with, or words and phrases we’ve picked up from the people in our lives. We rarely think much about the words we choose. We typically use words that we’re familiar with and that will take care of our communication needs with efficiency and ease. Quite frankly, our daily use of words is relatively limited when compared with the number of words available to us in the English language.
Our egos are very stubborn and they like to win. The ego wants to be right, wants to be special; the ego wants things the easy way, its way, or to finally find thee way. And while it is necessary to develop a strong ego in the first half of life, it is just as important to give up the ego in the second. Nature certainly has a sense of humor. It demands we get it, only to demand we lose it. So what does it mean to give up your ego? Does this mean that you no longer fight for what you think is right? Does it mean you no longer speak up and fight to get your needs met? Does it mean you have to give up and settle? No, but here is what you need to know about your ego.